Crazy Lips

3.0 out of 5 stars The lips are totally crazy

The first thing you need to know about “Crazy Lips” is that it isn’t a horror flick. Don’t be fooled by that cover. Oh, there are some horror elements, to be sure, and some good old fashioned axe murders, but anyone looking for a good scare isn’t going to find it here.

What “Crazy Lips” (“Hakkyousuru kuchibiru”) is, is just…over-the-top. Extreme. Weird. It is a film that doesn’t know what genre it wants to be, and tries to be all of them. Spooky ghost story? Check. Action super-powered fighting? Check. Axe-murdering slaughter fest? Check. Sweet musical number? Check. Utterly bizarre pink film where you see a girl raped, taking a dead body in the front while her own father takes her from the back then laughs about how she is going to have a hard time sitting down? Check.

There is a story here, of sorts, but it takes so many wild twists and turns that it hardly seems worth mentioning it. A family is hounded by the press because the eldest son is a suspected serial killer. The family, desperate to clear their name and help the son, retains the services of a powerful psychic who summons up the headless bodies of murdered girls to go and look for their killer. The psychic, however, is not exactly what she appears to be, and a Japanese-girl-in-a-blonde-wig-and-a-bad-accent-trying-to-be-an-American-FBI-agent is hot on the case. Hijinks ensue.

And while the situations may be extreme, none of the sex or violence is. For sex, there is nothing on the level of Entrails of a Virgin, and the nudity never goes above topless. For gore, don’t expect Ichi the Killer. It just isn’t that kind of movie. The director wants to go over the top, and he seems to have made the movie depending on the whims of a given day rather than following any sort of plan or plot.

Strangely enough, “Crazy Lips” has some good players in its cast. Hiroshi Abe (Hana & Alice) is one of my favorite modern Japanese actors, and this is a very early flick for him. Hitomi Miwa (Ju-on) is a Japanese scream queen, so it is no surprise to see her here doing what she does best.

I wouldn’t really be in a rush to recommend this to anyone, unless they are in the mood for something really weird. I had a good time with it, but a sober viewing might not be the best.

Ju-on: Shiroi Roujo

2.0 of 5 Stars:  Beware the basketball wielding grandmother!

Ah “Ju-On”…perhaps it is long time past to say goodbye.  Although the first film remains one of the classics of the J-Horror genre, with each subsequent release there remains less and less to scrape off the bottom of the barrel.

This film “Ju-On: Shiroi Roujo” (English translation “Ju-On: The White Old Lady”) is part of a two-part release with “Ju-On: Kuroi Shojo” “Ju-On: Black Young Girl”).  They were produced in honor of the tenth anniversary of the original “Ju-On” V-Cinema release often known in English as “Ju-On: The Curse.”  Although since that film was released in 2000, the tenth anniversary is a little bit early.

Really, this film has only the barest of connection with the original series.  The “Ju-On” house is present, and Toshio pops up with his cat grown just to let us know what series we are in, but that is about it.   

The story follows the son of a business man who fails to pass his critical bar exam and then murders his entire family, leaving behind a cassette tape after he hangs himself.  On the tape is the mysterious female voice of a young girl saying “Go…go now…” Into this story comes Akane (played by nineteen-year old J-Idol Minami Akina) a highschool girl with supernatural senses who keeps catching glimpses of her old schoolgirl chum Mirai, who was molested and murdered when then were young. (Any guesses as to whose voice is the mystery girl on the tape?). 

The plot for “Ju-On: Shiroi Roujo” is really disjointed, although it follows some of the standard rules of “whoever enters this house dies.”   A small side scene has a poor guy delivering Christmas Cakes show up at the house, only to return home and murder his girlfriend (played by adult video actress Mihiro in a tiny bit part.  For the record, Mihiro takes off none of her clothes and has sex with absolutely nobody, which seems a waste of her talents in a film like this.  I think I will stick to the other Mihiro films in my collection.)  The main haunting ghost, and titular character, is the grandmother who was murdered by her grandson in the big family slaying, who likes to freak people out by tossing a basketball around before showing up in a bad white fright-mask and killing them.

Directed by Miyake Ryuta, who was apparently hand-picked by “Ju-On” czar Shimizu Takeshi, “Ju-On: Shiroi Roujo” is barely passable as something to watch.  Miyake imported his “basketball wielding grandmother ghost” from a previous effort of his, a short segment on “Kaidan Shin Mimibukuro” (“Tales of Terror from Tokyo and All Over Japan”) in an attempt to put something of his own stamp on the series.  The special effects work here is just terrible, and the ghost grandma comes off looking like someone wearing the “Ghost Face” mask from the “Scream” series, eliciting laughs rather than frights whenever she shows up.

Not that it was a complete waste.  At about an hour long, “Ju-On: Shiroi Roujo” isn’t too much of an investment to watch and there are a few nice scenes.  The dismembered head in a bag in the back of a taxi was a nice touch.   Minami Akina is nice to look at, and there are worst ways to spend an hour.  If your expectations are low, you might have some fun with this film.

I have heard that the second film, “Ju-On: Kuroi Shojo” is the better of the pair, but I haven’t had the chance to see that yet.

The Yotsuya Kwaidan or O’Iwa Inari: Tales of the Tokugawa, Volume 1

4.0 out of 5 stars A unique version of the familiar legend

“Yotsuya Kaidan” is unquestionably THE Japanese ghost story, the most famous and most instantly recognizable story from a very haunted culture. There are numerous filmed versions of the tale (about 60 different versions or so, most likely more) and uncountable written versions and translations.

This 1916 version, adapted by James S. De Benneville as the first of his two-part Tales of the Tokugawa, Vol 2, is different from the most familiar versions. In his introduction, De Benneville says that the story he relates was told to him by a storyteller in the Yoshiwara pleasure district, named Shunkintei Ryou. Shunkintei himself claims that this was the true account of the legend, and that it could only be told now some ninety one years after the original performance in 1825 of the play by Tsuruya Nanboku IV.Of course, as a professional storyteller who claimed to know the true, secret version of Japan’s most famous ghost story, Shunkintei’s claim should be taken with a grain of salt.

This version of the tale starts not with Oiwa and Iemon, but with their respective parents. The father of Iemon is responsible for the death of Oiwa’s father, leaving their children with the inherited burden of karma. (This piece was clearly lifted by Shunkintei from Sanyutei Encho’s 1859 story “Reckoning at Kasane Swamp” recently filmed as Kaidan.) Oiwa is given in marriage to Iemon, both of them unaware of their connection. Iemon, a rouge and a scoundrel, married Oiwa for her money and estate, but longs for a way to rid himself of his wife so that he may marry the prostitute Ohana with whom he has long been in love. Scheme builds on scheme, allies are recruited and Oiwa’s downfall is plotted. Just when all the conspirators are congratulating each other, however, Oiwa rises again in terrible vengeance.

There are several differences from this translation and the classic “Yotsuya Kaidan.” Aside from the elements added from “Kasane Swamp,” the Oiwa in this story has always been miserably ugly, so much so that her nickname is “the Obake” or “the Goblin.” Although she is rich, she is far to hideous to attract a husband and even the scum Iemon must be lured by trickery. Many of the familiar side-characters are also missing. There is no Naosuke lusting for Oiwa’s sister Osode, and partnering with Iemon in murder. There is no Oume in love with Iemon, and Ito Kehei is only interested in the downfall of the Tamiya house, and not his daughter’s happiness.

Probably the biggest difference is the lack of Oiwa’s vengeful ghost herself. As this was written in 1917, during the Meiji Restoration and not the Edo Period like the original kabuki play, it was a time when Japan was somewhat ashamed of its supernatural past feeling it was primitive and unenlightened as compared to science-minded Western culture. This shows in that Oiwa’s hauntings are almost never played as a straight ghost story, but almost as transference of psychological guilt felt by those who helped in her downfall. Is it the real ghost of Oiwa crying for vengeance, or simply the guilty consciences of those who have done her wrong? Blood is spilled, and it is gory, but the pale face of Oiwa almost never shows her face.

As for the translation, I don’t know how good De Benneville’s grasp of Japanese was, but the translation is rough and in an odd style. The long vowel is handled in a way I have never seen before, putting the extra vowel in brackets such as Encho[u] or To[u]kyo. Until you get used to this style it is distracting to read. Also, several words that De Benneville apparently didn’t know he simply left in Japanese, which is fine if you are a Japanese speaker yourself but might frustrate some without abilities in the language.

Entrails of a Virgin

4.0 out of 5 stars Enter the Mud Man

So, if I told you that this movie had a scene with a woman sucking off a monster while simultaneously masturbating herself with a disembodied hand, would that make you pop the DVD into the player, or throw it across the room? Because that is the kind of question you have to ask yourself before buying “Entrails of a Virgin” (“Shojo no harawata”).

Firmly in the Erotic/Grotesque genre of Japanese film, this is the directorial debut of Kazuo ‘Gaira’ Komizu (writer of Go, Go Second Time Virgin). Everything about this flick screams “the 80′s”, from the cheesy hairdos to the cheesier synthesizer music reminiscent of every sex/slasher film popular at the time. This film once had an infamous reputation amongst Japanese horror fans, both for it’s rarity as well as for pushing the boundaries in gore and sex far beyond previous levels. However, since then the boundaries have been pushed so far that much of “Entrails of a Virgin” comes off as tame.

The story is the basic “cabin in the woods” motif. Three guys, three girls, it’s a foggy and dangerous drive and they all decide to stop by a deserted house in the woods to pass the night. Everyone pairs off and the pants come off. Enter the monster.

For a Japanese pink film, “Entrails of a Virgin” does push some serious boundaries on sex and nudity. Far more than the occasional glimpse of T&A, all the gals here get very, very naked and look good doing so. Kizuki Saeko (Angel Guts), Hagio Naomi (“Wife Collector”) and Kawashima Megumi (Onimusha 3 of all things…) all manage to lose everything they have, get raped by man and monster alike, and squeak as only Japanese actresses can in a pink film. There were a few shocking shots, stuff that I haven’t seen in any other pink film, and the director clearly wanted to walk that fine line between soft and hardcore.

The gore scenes where a little more disappointing. The director obviously didn’t have the budget or skills to make a genuinely sticky mess of things, but he gave it a good try. There are a lot of intercut shots of slabs of meat getting pounded that work effectively but are still somewhat of a cop-out. The giant mud-man monster elicits a giggle rather than a scare, but I think they did their best with what they had to work with.

Personally, cheese aside I enjoyed this flick a lot. It is about on the same level as Bloodsucking Freaks, an oddity with a few over-the-top scenes that deserves its cult status. Japanese films got gorier, starting with later flicks like Evil Dead Trap, but they rarely hit the sex boundaries like this again unless they went full hardcore. It would be easy to find a lot of flaws with this flick, but just as easy to have a good time.

The DVD is really well done, with fantastic audio and visual cleanness. There is an interview with the director, which is continued on the sequel Entrails of a Beautiful Woman. Also included is an essay on why Japanese films “fog” the genitals of actors, even when it is obviously a sex film. Very cool and informative for first timers into the pink film genre.

When They Cry: Complete Box Set

5.0 out of 5 stars Innovative murder mystery series with a real twist

“When They Cry” (“Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni” or “When the Cicadas Cry,” a colorful term meaning the summertime in Japan when the cicada’s cry can be almost deafening) is one of the most unique adaptations I have seen of the Japanese computer game-type known as a visual novel.

Visual novels (although in the case of “Higurashi no Naku Koro” it was called a “sound novel” due to its use of mood-setting music and sound effects) are kind of like “Choose your own adventure” books for the computer. Players get a standard plotline that can be resolved in different ways based on conversations they have with other characters and choices they make in the game. In the case of “When They Cry,” the game was a murder-mystery where the killer and victims could be any number of people depending on how the game was played. The anime for “When They Cry” replicated this by making a series of story arcs, each which resolves the main story in a different style.

The basic set-up is always the same. Five friends live in the small village of Hinamizawa home of the summer festival known as Watanagashi where bits of cotton are floated down the stream to do away with bad memories. Keiichi is a young boy who has recently moved to the village, where he quickly befriends a group of four girls, Rena, Mion, Satoko, and Rika. Things start out innocently enough, but slowly Keiichi learns of a local legend of a village curse by someone named Oyashiro, and that every year on the Watanagashi festival someone is murdered and someone disappears forever.

The twenty-six episode box set has six story arcs, “Spirited Away by Demons, “Cotton Drifting,” “Curse Killing,” “Time Killing,” “Eye Opening (Actually “Cotton Drifting” told from a different point of view) and “Attonment.” Each story arc starts on a sunny day on the way to school, and ends with bloody murder. The plots can vary quite wildly, with only a few elements linking together each of the story arcs.

When you first watch “When They Cry,” this can be somewhat disconcerting. At the end of one episode all of the main characters are thrown down wells or chopped up into pieces, only to have them whole and healthy at the beginning of the next story arc with no mention of what you have just watched. Once you get into the rhythm of the series, this cycle becomes comfortable and it is fun wondering who will be the killer and who will be killed this time around. There is even a little meta-joke in the series, as the friends are members of a club who play a game like Clue, trying to guess who the killer, location and weapon will be in the game.

There is a sharp contrast between the cutesy character designs and the foul play that eventually ends the story arcs. With the first episode, I was almost annoyed at the characters because they seemed like every fluffy bunny stereotype of anime girls you could possibly imagine. This only made it more fun however when the baseball bats started swinging and the blood started flowing. The series really took me by surprise when it made its dark turn.

The story arcs aren’t entirely separate. Each one introduces some new elements of the characters that might be carried over into the next story arc, like Mion’s twin sister, Shion who appears to complicate the situation. Even if the story doesn’t flow, the character development does.

Kibakichi

kibakichi

2.0 out of 5 stars Ready for MST3K

I love Japanese yokai movies like The Great Yokai War and Kitaro, so I was looking forward to “Kibakichi” (Japanese title “Kibakichi: Bakko-yokaiden”). I didn’t have any high expectations judging from the box cover, but I figured it would be worth a watch.

I was wrong. This is just a terrible film. Cheap production values. Bad story. Wooden acting. Silly costumes and props. Very little here to recommend it, unless you want to watch it as a joke.

Director Haraguchi Tomoo had a good concept with “Kibakichi.” This was supposed to be the style of the old Spaghetti Westerns adapted for a samurai flick. The concept has worked before, and both Westerns and chanbara have freely borrowed from each other. The idea was to have the shogun’s men be the invading industrialists (railroad barons) encroaching on the land of a poor settlement of yokai (Native Americans). The shogun’s men promise the yokai a beautiful land of their own, if they will just help in clearing undesirables and criminals from the area. Into this mix comes a half-breed drifter, Kibakichi, who is a deadly warrior whose allegiances are unclear. Will he side with the humans or with the yokai?

Sounds great, right? And it really should have worked. Maybe in the hands of a more competent crew it would have. But the choices Haraguchi makes are just too silly. The shogun’s men all wear long, Matrix-style black leather coats for some reason, and carry bizarre semi-steam punk Gatling-pistols that don’t actually rotate when they fire. The yokai “tribe” look equally bad in their faux-Native American make-up. And as for Kibakichi , well this is the stupidest hero I have ever seen. When the eventual battle breaks out, he waits until AFTER everyone is dead (except for the pretty girl of course!) to transform into his powerful werewolf form and take on the Matrix-dudes. A little too late there, Kibakichi. Maybe you should have joined in the fight earlier rather that standing around making angsty faces.

Are there any good points? Well, I am a big fan of the yokai called kappa, and there are some cool kappa costumes here. Unfortunately, they seem to have spent the entire budget making them, and they don’t get much use in the film. All the other yokai are just regular people, with maybe a single weird feature or two. Lame. The blood and violence is pretty fun, with the old-fashioned “hose up the arm” ensuring an absolute gusher of blood for every arm chopped off.

This DVD comes with a bonus feature of the director and two lead actors giving a chat during the premier of “Kibakichi.” After watching the movie, it is funny to see them talk so seriously about what they had just made. Did they really think they made a fine film? Obviously they did well enough to merit a sequel, Kibakichi 2. But I think I will give that one a miss.

Apartment 1303

apartment

4.0 out of 5 stars The haunted apartment motif

When dealing with genre films, in this case the Japanese yurei, it isn’t really important to judge how original they are, but it how well they riff on the established tropes. All zombie flicks have the walking dead, but some walk with a jauntier step than others. All vampire flicks have blood suckers, but some pack a little more bite. All yurei flicks are going to have long-haired, white faced girls, and what matters is where you go from there.

“Apartment 1303″ isn’t a great film, but it doesn’t try to be. It is a simple haunted-apartment story, with no intention other than offering some entertainment and some chills, both of which it does just fine. The premise is actually a real and ongoing situation in Japan. When there is some known ghostly activity in an apartment, or where a suicide or murder has been committed, the rent becomes super-cheap although the rental agent often doesn’t tell you why. Just by the price of the apartment you know something is going on.

Director Oikawa Ataru is best known for the Tomie series, and I believe this was his first venture into the yurei genre. He handles the conventions well, and maintains a nice spooky atmosphere for most of the film. Lead actress Hatsune Eriko (Uzumaki) handles her horror-duties well, and it is nice to see her pop up again. The movie derails a little bit when Oikawa goes for the special effects shots rather than the atmosphere. Up until one specific scene, he had kept his camera tight and claustrophobic, making the best use of the unseen and dark corners, until the sudden grand reveal brings everything a little bit too much into the spotlight.

If you are in the mood for a pretty straight forward genre flick, and just want some easy chills, then “Apartment 1303″ has what you need. Of course, it isn’t on the same level as Ring or Ju-on, but comparing every single Japanese yurei film to those would be like watching every single ghost film and saying “It was good, but not as good as Kubrick’s The Shining. Not every flick needs to be a masterpiece to be enjoyable, and this one is good enough.

Black Kiss

black

 
2.0 out of 5 stars Murder Models
Director Tezuka Makato is a guy with a lot of ideas. Too many ideas, as it turns out, and he is unable to weave all of his ideas together into a cohesive film. What you are left with is a rambling mess of storylines, none of which is particularly bad, and almost any of which could have been pulled out and stretched into a decent flick. As it stands “Black Kiss” is a frustrating and ultimately unsatisfying film.

The first part of the film is the best. A sexy murder mystery, it has all the necessary components. The victims and victims-to-be are all beautiful fashion models, and Tezuka makes sure they have plenty of screen time to reel you in. To kick things off a brutal and elegant locked-door murder is served up, which introduces us to the rumpled police detective who will hunt down the killer, and a retired police officer with an interest in the occult to serve as his mentor and advisor. Everything is good so far, but then suddenly derails into a class/buddy film, as two of the models, both half-Japanese, learn to live with each other as roommates even though their social conditions are so different. The punker and the princess motif. Kind of remembering that this is supposed to be a murder mystery, the film then further jumps tracks as the killer is revealed, and suddenly everyone is in long leather jackets and we are on the set of The Matrix. At this point, the finale elicits laughs rather than shivers, because the whole thing is just too bizarre. Wrapped around all of these separate parts is an existential discussion on fate, which lends the film its original name, Synchronicity, but doesn’t fit into anything else going on.

The killer of the film, a serpentine and preternatural figure called Black Kiss, was visually cool, and could have been a film by himself. The two main girls, Kaori Kawamura and Reika Hashimoto, were both incredible, and could have been a film by themselves. In fact, all of the actors, many of them quite famous and veterans of the Japanese film industry, did a great job, and the fault for this failure must lie solely on the shoulders of the director. One wonders if he was able to assemble and misuse such a tremendous cast based on the respect given to his famous father, the “God of Manga” Tezuka Osamu.

The DVD for “Black Kiss” only helps to show what a failure this movie is. There is a collection of deleted scenes, most of which should have been left in and supply lots of “Ah-ha” moments for the convoluted script. Two interviews with the director show the heights of his hubris, as he explains his intentions and outlines the plot of the film and his vision. Clearly, Tezuka wants to be David Fincher or David Lynch, but he just doesn’t have the talent.

And a word of caution to any directors: Any 133 minute film that then requires an additional half-hour of the director explaining what it is you just saw in order for the audience to understand, probably needs to be re-thought and re-edited. In fact, the identity of the killer is revealed in the director’s interview, and not in the movie itself. That just doesn’t work for me.

Retribution

retribution

 
4.0 out of 5 stars The Woman in Red
“Retribution” (Japanese title “Sakebi” meaning “Scream”) is a classic yurei tale. Director Kurosawa Kiyoshi has decided to draw within the lines, keeping all the elements of this traditional Japanese monster, while giving the film some of his personal touches.

Kurosawa (Cure, Pulse) has proved time and time again that he is a force to be reckoned with. Many of his films fall within the horror genre, and they all carry Kurosawa’s heavy tone. “Retribution” is no different. Even while playing within the confines of tradition, the world-weary nature of his characters, the idea that even the best of us somehow deserves what is inevitably coming, all comes through strongly. Kurosawa has a vision with his films, and one that I enjoy very much.

The story of “Retribution” is a horror/detective pairing. A police officer Yoshioka (Played by Kurosawa Kiyoshi regular Yakusho Koji), is called to the scene of a grisly murder. A body has been found, lungs full of seawater, and all signs point to Yoshioka being the murderer. At first he is tempted to hide clues, but since he knows he did not commit the crime he keeps investigating. More murders follow, all involving the same MO, all committed by people who should not be committing murders. Into this strange mix are two women, a haunting Woman in Red (Hazuki Riona) who seems to appear and disappear, and Yoshioka’s girlfriend Harue (Konishi Manami) who tries to help Yoshioka but finds herself constantly being pushed away and pulled closer.

“Retribution” is a very good movie, although not a particularly scary one. The film concentrates on mood and story more than chills, and although there are a few shocking moments for the most part the pace is quiet. With every Kurosawa Kiyoshi film I see, I love his style of horror more and more. It is psychological and supernatural horror all at the same time, with recriminations for society’s growing coldness and isolated nature.

The DVD for “Retribution” has a few good extras, including a “Making of.”, an interview with Kurosawa Kiyoshi, and an Alternate Ending and a special “Making of the Alternate Ending.”

The Slit-Mouthed Woman

slit

4.0 out of 5 stars Big mouth strikes again

The slit-mouthed woman, called in Japanese the “kuchisake onna”, is a favorite monster of modern Japan. Possibly dating back to the Heian period, the legend always revolves around a beautiful and vain woman who has her face cut, often by a jealous husband. Modern versions of the legend sometimes have her face ruined by inept plastic surgery. The now disfigured beauty takes out her wrath on men by covering her face and asking them if she is beautiful. There isn’t a right answer, and the man is usually killed.

The legend has played in many films over the years, most recently in the 2007 flick Carved. This version, “The Slit-mouthed Woman” (original title “Kanno byoto: nureta akai kuchibiru” or “Hospital of the Senses, Wet Red Lips”) is the first “pink” version that I have seen, and actually is a pretty decent flick, working both as a horror film and as a sex film.

The film tells the story of an abandoned hospital with a room rumored to be haunted by the kuchisake onna. Kids dare each other to enter the room and have sex there, with some deadly results. Investigating the story is intrepid reporter Hitomi, who finds the origin of the legend and in turn soon discovers that the legend has found her as well.

Being a pink film, it clocks in at a running time of only 63 minutes, but packs quite a bit in. All of the actresses, including cutie Aoyama Minami (Cat Girl Kiki) manage to get their kits off and do their thing, although the level of nudity is somewhat tame for a pink film. Strictly tops and no bottoms. Films in the erotic/grotesque genre tend to emphasize one over the other, and the director clearly went for the horror element here. The effects are good, and I even liked this version of the kuchisake onna better than in “Carved”.

The DVD for “The Slit-mouthed Woman” is something of a mystery. Normally, like in The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai , the bonus features are related to the pink genre and add a little more punch to the short running time. In this case, however, an entirely unrelated short British film called “Birds of Prey” is included, along with a photo gallery of shots from the photo book Blood & Dishonour: The Dark, Bloody and Perversely Erotic World of the Satanic Sluts…Satan’s True Sirens. Neither of these are bad, but their inclusion is a bit of a non sequitur. It seems like the DVD producer had some extra stuff lying around and just decided to pile it on this release as filler.